It’s St. Patrick’s Day, and this video makes me LOL. Not LOL as in “yeah maybe something you said should have made me LOL but I’m just typing LOL to make it seem like I LOL’d when I actually didn’t LOL at all.” I’m talking LOL as in “Actually LOL.”
Everyone is saying it these days: “I have assburgers.” It’s the new “I’m OCD” or “I’m ADD.” Ugh, it makes me cringe. If you know someone who constantly reminds you of how he or she has “assburgers,” you should totally get that person this I Have Assburgers shirt as a gift. It’s only $10 for a limited time. Everyone will get a kick out of it (except maybe the dude with “assburgers” who will at least pretend not to understand the humor.) Better yet, don’t waste your money on those people; just get the shirt for yourself and wear it whenever they are around. Then, when they say, “You don’t have assburgers, and you spelled it wrong,” simply respond with, “Exactly.”
I Have Assburgers t-shirt
Yes it’s true, we found one of our newest models, Bree, sporting our Two Dads Are Better Than None shirt while we were out the other night. Of course, we had to grab a pic. Spank you very much, Bree! Follow her on Twitter.
Please help me in welcoming two new models to the ranks of the Conch Tees pages: Bree and Micha, showing off “I‘m Easy But Not Diseasy” and “Chicks Dig Tiger’s Wood“, respectively. Thanks ladies! We know you’ll be the talk of the town with your Easy Tiger loving selfs!
Micha & Bree
Ok, you may be wondering if we are losing it. No, I assure we are not. We are moving a bunch of inventory, and really we just don’t want to carry it all. (Have you ever tried to get around New York City with thousands of t-shirts?) So, our laziness is your gain. Get everything for 50% off until the last minute of Sunday, November 8th. Stock up for Christmas. Stock up for Chanukah. Stock up for Kwanza. Stock up for the Winter Solstice. Just don’t miss out on this deal. You’ll kick yourself in the FACE if you do! (You don’t want to do that, now do you?) Even the $7 tees are only $3.50 now. Yep, tree-fiddy. For a shirt. Wal-Mart has NOTHING on us (except abusive labor practices.) Why are you still reading this? Go get your funny t-shirts now!
Due to popular demand, we have now released our Two moms are better than none version of our Two Dads shirt. You guys even got to pick the colors!
Two moms are better than none
We are finally offering hookers on Conch Tees. People have been asking and asking, “When are you going to start selling hookers?” Usually it’s followed by, “I really want hookers!” Ok ok, fine! We caved! We’re selling hookers now. Sheesh. We have both men’s hookers and women’s hookers. As usual they’re on sale for their introductory period. So go buy your hookers shirt already. Pre-orders should ship by June 18th.
We have started a new feature on the site. Now, you can let us know which designs you like the best BEFORE we even release them. Just head over to the preview page and you’ll see a new design on which we’d like your feedback. Designs that get the most votes will be available for pre-order for $14. Be a part of the shirt-making process. You decided what gets printed!
From now until January 20th just before midnight, we are offering 15% off the purchase of any two shirts or more. Consider it a celebration of a shift in power. If you’re heading to Obama’s inauguration, you might want to sport one of our shirts. If you want to stay warm, grab a hoodie. 15% off is nothing to scoff at. You could really make out like a bandit. On top of it all, shipping is still free. You know you love us.
We finally joined the ranks of “the Twitter.” You can follow funnytshirts if you’d like to know what we are doing every second of the day. Well, we probably won’t post that frequently, but hopefully a lot. I mean what would your life be like if you didn’t know what the people at your favorite online t-shirt company were doing with their free time? Or not so free time? Actually, we have no free time. We spend most of our time setting up stuff like Twitter accounts and subsequently blogging about them. Then we remark about how we just did that. And the process repeats.