ConchTees.com’s Black Friday sale is underway. At midnight last night we reduced the price of our classic tees to $1. We also reduced our new line of American Apparel shirts to $14 and our hooded sweatshirts to $15.
It is now the middle of Black Friday, and we have already sold out of a number of different sizes and even entire products. Our shirts, already popular icons across the net at their original prices, are flying off the shelves with the $1 price tag. And don’t forget our bulk discounts: 10% off orders of $30 or more, 20% off orders of $40 or more, and 40% off orders of $100 or more.
The sale ends tonight at 11:59 PST or until we run out of stock, whichever comes first. Quantities are limited.
If you are of the Asian persuasion, you are going to want to grab our latest $10 shirt, I’m Asian. So I Can Kick Your Ass. It will give your friends and enemies that not-so-subtle suggestion that, yes, their suspicions are correct, and you DO know kung fu, tae kwon do, ninjutsu, aikido, or karate (or some wicked combination thereof.) Hey, if you’re going to be stereotyped, might as well use it to your advantage. Plus, like I said, it’s only $10 right now. It’s the perfect complement to your $200 designer jeans.
Evan at iwearyourshirt.com also wore one of our shirts this year. He got the super popular 1up Yours shirt and had a blast with it. Watch him tell his neighbors, “Up yours!” Also, get 30% off all Conch Tees merchandise with the discount code UPYOURS for “Forever” (minus a few days or so.) Oh, and don’t make him feel too bad for mispronouncing our name. Apparently a lot of people say “conTCH” instead of “conK.” Who knew?
Everyone is saying it these days: “I have assburgers.” It’s the new “I’m OCD” or “I’m ADD.” Ugh, it makes me cringe. If you know someone who constantly reminds you of how he or she has “assburgers,” you should totally get that person this I Have Assburgers shirt as a gift. It’s only $10 for a limited time. Everyone will get a kick out of it (except maybe the dude with “assburgers” who will at least pretend not to understand the humor.) Better yet, don’t waste your money on those people; just get the shirt for yourself and wear it whenever they are around. Then, when they say, “You don’t have assburgers, and you spelled it wrong,” simply respond with, “Exactly.”
There are a lot of low-brow St. Patrick’s Day t-shirts out there. We thought we might raise the bar a little with an homage to the great Irish literary genius, James Joyce, with our I’m Pro Joyce t-shirt. What better way to say, “I’m an educated and well-read lush,” than with a t-shirt of this caliber. Turn your nose up at the world as you down that pint of green beer. Only $10 for a limited time.
We have reduced our introductory price for new t-shirts to $10. So if you’re lucky enough to catch a new release, it can be yours for only $10. That’s right. $10. As of this post, that means both 1up Yours and I Think I Can are only $10. We’re going to cycle those out as even newer releases are released. Be the first of your friends to have the latest and greatest funny t-shirts and save some cash. It’s a win-win. Actually, we get to sell the shirt, so it’s a win-win-win.
Ever wished you had more hours in a day? We do all the time. We’re giving you those extra hours for Black Friday. All weekend long, until Sunday at midnight New York time, you can get all of our merchandise at 50% off. This includes already discounted items. I really don’t think there’s anything else I need to say.
Ok, you may be wondering if we are losing it. No, I assure we are not. We are moving a bunch of inventory, and really we just don’t want to carry it all. (Have you ever tried to get around New York City with thousands of t-shirts?) So, our laziness is your gain. Get everything for 50% off until the last minute of Sunday, November 8th. Stock up for Christmas. Stock up for Chanukah. Stock up for Kwanza. Stock up for the Winter Solstice. Just don’t miss out on this deal. You’ll kick yourself in the FACE if you do! (You don’t want to do that, now do you?) Even the $7 tees are only $3.50 now. Yep, tree-fiddy. For a shirt. Wal-Mart has NOTHING on us (except abusive labor practices.) Why are you still reading this? Go get your funny t-shirts now!
Our latest batch of Obamunism shirts got botched! The red and blue inks were accidentally swapped, making the sky red and stripes blue. Instead of just trashing the lot, we decided to give you a shot at buying these one-of-a-kind misprints at a dramatically reduced cost. Shirts start at $7. Hoodies start at $15. Quantities are very limited, so grab yours while you can.
It’s official. The media has been taken over by the government. Now you don’t have to kid yourself anymore about whether or not television news is just propaganda. It most certainly is. Commemorate this shift in policy from secretive brainwashing to outright public pandering with your very own OBC: Obama Broadcasting Company t-shirt. Pre-orders are only $14. This initial run may be small, but if you’re interested, we will definitely reprint.
